Hello Pygmy Elephants! (Mr. Aji: Borneo Cowboy)

In the jungles of Borneo I was lucky enough to encounter some wild pygmy elephants.  Contrary to what the word pygmy might imply, these pygmy elephants were more elephant than pygmy.

On a recent trip to Malaysia, Chris and I and a group of other travelers that we met at the airport stayed at a wonderful jungle lodging called the Paganakan Rii.  It's a beautiful place nestled in the jungle. Everything is well maintained, the dorm rooms that we stayed at were huge and nicely constructed.  For hostel prices, this place is pretty much a resort compared to a lot of holes that Chris and I usually find ourselves in.  Enough about that, let's get on to the elephants.

So at this resortish hostel, we got to meet Mr. Aji.  Mr. Aji started his career as a jungle tour guide about ten years ago.  He's great at it and he obviously loves what he does, proven by his small van that we had the pleasure of riding in. The interior is literally covered with pictures of all the possible jungle animals can be seen in Borneo.  The upholstery of his car, from the dashboard to the seats, from the roof to the floor, were covered in crazy, colorful, jungle patterns made of faux fur; zebra stripes, leopard spots, etc.  I felt like I was inside of a crammed jungle disco. (Sorry I failed to take pictures)

So our troupe booked a tour with Mr. Aji to float through the famous Kinabatangan River of Borneo. We saw lots of different things: snakes, probiscus monkeys, baby crocodiles and huge lizards.   Good ol' Mr. Aji had an amazing eye for spotting anything living through the thick jungle vegetation.  A couple of times, he would yell excitedly, "Look there! Snake!" or "Over there! Lizard!", "Monkey!"  Each time I would scan and scan on either side of me and realize that suddenly the snake or whatever was two feet from me, or directly above me.  Mr. Aji would intentionally get as close as possible.  We woke up one slumbering snake and he even urged one of our guys on the boat to touch the poor snake.

Our troupe. Mr. Aji in the back with the scarf and glasses. 

Mr. Aji in the background, "Touch it! Touch it!"

Poor snake slithering away after being poked by an unwelcome human finger.

This is a probiscus monkey.  It was jumping from branch to branch.  They're awesome!

While floating this river, everyone, especially Mr. Aji had all of his senses alert for any signs of pygmy elephants.  Unfortunately to our dismay it was starting to look bleak.  No matter where we looked we couldn't see them.   Mr. Aji was starting to give up when he got a call. There was a sighting nearby! We got back on land, hopped inside of his van and drove into literally, somebody's jungle backyard.

We drove through a very narrow unpaved road that cut through the middle of the jungle.  It was very muddy from recent heavy rainfall and the windows were steaming up because of the thick humidity.  We knew we were close because the lush jungle vegetation on either side of us looked like elephants had just trampled through. We slowly trudged up the road, on alert and holding our breaths, when we suddenly heard an elephant's trumpet! It was such a beautiful sound and I suddenly became very aware of how exciting this whole situation was.  Through the steamy windows we desperately scanned the jungle all around us hoping to glimpse an elephant.  For a split second Andy (our new friend) and I saw one! But the van passed it and when we backed up, it had disappeared into thin air.  We slowly turned around but it took FOREVER because the road was so narrow so it was like a 40 point turn.  We managed to get back around and luckily one of the elephants had gotten curious about the commotion we were making and peaked it's not so pygmy head out.

We were so excited! Mr. Aji told us that we could get out of the van, which seemed a little dangerous but why not? He warned us not to make any sudden movements and loud noises because they had a baby elephant with them so they were very aggressive.  I got to stand about twenty feet from this magnificent creature!  I could tell that it was agitated because it was trying to hide it's baby from our view.  It kept disappearing back into the jungle then coming back out.  Then we saw mama elephant and I started to think, "hmm I really don't think they like us being here." Then I realized that  papa elephant was getting closer and definitely unhappy.  Mr. Aji whispered to us, "Shhh... slowly get back into the van."  I was suddenly very aware that this elephant was going to attack one of us. The thought of being crushed by an elephant flashed through my mind, I even thought that I could crawl under the van, but then I realized the van was half the size of the elephant. Without a word, we slowly but urgently crept back into the van.

Chris took this video footage of the elephant but when Mr. Aji told us to get back into the van and the elephant started coming towards us, he panicked like a little girl, then the battery "ran out".  

When we got back in the van and shut the door behind us, we zoomed away and all of us broke out into excited chatter and whooping.  Mr Aji started handing out high fives and we all nervously laughed when Mr. Aji quite seriously exclaimed, "Wow, so many times I have to climb tree! We are lucky!"  Then he told us a story about a time when he encountered aggressive elephants while touring around a very obese German couple.  He said they were each over 300 pounds, he laughed and said, (his words) "I never knew that such fat people could run so fast!"

Wo Ting Bu Dong (Miscommunications in Taiwan) Pt1

"Wo ting bu dong" (I don't understand), was the first phrase that I learned in Taiwan.  Sadly, it usually doesn't get me very far.  Since I look like someone who can speak Chinese, especially in this very non diverse country, "Wo ting bu dong! Wo ting bu dong!" usually results in a very confused reaction.  A lot of times people will speak even louder thinking that maybe I just can't hear them.  Most of the time I just get very exasperated and say in English, "I'm sorry I'm not Chinese! I don't understand you!"
   Consequently a lot of funny situations have happened to me and I'll share them with you:

1)
   One time I desperately needed tampons so I went into a "Watson's" which is a chain drugstore, similar to Walgreens in the states.  After scanning aisle after aisle I finally found a very long aisle all dedicated to sanitary pads.  I knew I was close but I couldn't see any tampons (of course I'm only going off of pictures).  I examined all the packages but I couldn't see any pictures of tampons.  I really wanted to find them myself without having to go through the hassle of asking somebody.

An aisle of pads, no tampons on this aisle.

I finally gave up and found a girl to help me out.  I tapped her arm, smiled, raised my hands in surrender and said, "NO Zhongwon" (No Chinese).  Then I motioned for her to come and follow me and led her in front of the sanitary pads.  I thought, "okay, how the hell do I explain this?"  So I pointed to the pads and then used my fingers to symbol what I was looking for.
    Now, what would you do? Well, I did it the good old fashioned way.  I made an "O" with my left thumb and index finger, then I got my right index finger and pushed it in and out through the "O", all the while saying "taaampoonnn".  (Does anyone have a better idea?)
   Well, it apparently worked because it looked like a lightbulb clicked in her head.  She brightened up and motioned for me to follow her. 
   I followed her to the other side of the store and low and behold she lead me to a huge section of...condoms.  I burst out laughing.  I couldn't help it.  It all just seemed so ridiculous.  Me, not being able to communicate and having to use silly, lewd hand motions to get my point across.    She, trying to guess at a game of sexual charades...
Finally, after making it clear that I didn't want condoms, that I wanted a cross between a condom and a sanitary pad, I finally got my tampons.

Side note: The reason it was so hard for me to find tampons was because they're just not popular here.  The only ones I've noticed in Taiwan are the OB brand, which I think is ironic because they're the hardest to use, and they're very expensive and semi-hidden away from the rest of the feminine products. 


2)  
   The first few months of living in Taiwan, I thought that the Taiwanese had an obsession for receipts.  It didn't matter where I went, whether it was a 7-11 to buy a pack of gum or the grocery store to buy a lot more stuff, the cashier always insisted that I received my receipt.  The first few times I tried to refuse it by waving my hands and saying no, but they would actually follow me, sometimes outside, until I took it.  It never occurred to me that there must be a reason behind this.  I just thought that people really like having receipts around here.  For me, it was a pain in the ass and a waste of paper to have my wallet or backpack constantly fill up with receipts. 
   Recently, I found out why and I kick myself for not trying to find out the reason sooner.  The receipts are lottery tickets! Every two months they run the national lottery and if you have the winning numbers you have a chance to win a lot of money. I heard as much as $1,000,000 NT which is about $300,000 US.  I'm not sure if that's quite true but I know that there's a lot of chances to win smaller increments of money.

The 8 digit number in dark print are the possible winning numbers

   A couple of reasons why the government does this is so that people can keep a track of their receipts for tax purposes.  Also, by forcing businesses to hand out receipts (they get fined if they don't) they can't cheat the system.
   As for me, I've been collecting all my receipts, I can't wait until the numbers come out in May!  Plus, all the grocery stores have huge bins where you can recycle the ludicrous amounts of receipt papers that gather up.  I'll let you know results in May. Wish me luck!



I have more to share so check back later!

Why Here? (personal thoughts on living in Jialeshuei)

While traveling, I have found myself in places or situations I would never step foot in had it not been for the surf.
In Peru I often found myself sleeping on worn out mattresses of dirty floors usually in a family home (doubling as a "hostel").  The mats would be about a half inch thin in the middle and 6-8 inches thick on either side.  The sheets or sheet would be stained with many question marks and the smells would be, well, gross.  I remember one time I checked into one of these rooms, I put my stuff down and went to pee in the bathroom (that actually came with the room!).  I examined the bathroom floor to find gigantic toe nail clippings, lots of stains, a pungent smell, countless dead bugs in the drains and a lot of other stuff that I caught in the corner of my eye but decided to stop looking.  The town itself was small, gloomy, and had an overwhelming feeling of being unsafe.  I did not go out of my way to roam and when I did in search of food, I made sure to take only enough money for food with me and even then, I tucked it inside my underwear.
    But I would stay for more than a day, sometimes even a couple of weeks.  The reason being the surf... oh the surf, this magnificent, beautiful wave!

I can go on and on about the places and situations I've found myself in, all on the account of surf (maybe I will in another post). My point is there are certain... actually a lot of luxuries you give up when you're traveling in search of surf. Though usually I've come to find that the more unappealing the town is, the better the surf.
   Taiwan is no exception.  I did the traveling part when I first got here and now I'm doing the living part.  The living part  is still commanded by my desire to surf.  This is why I have found myself in another unlikely setting with not so attractive circumstances but a wonderful opportunity to be able to surf everyday. 

The reason why I chose Taiwan was because of the prospect of surf-able coastline and the possibility of saving money by working as an English teacher.  When I heard this, I packed up my bags and moved here, board in tow.  The first couple of weeks were dedicated to culture shock and sight seeing, mainly in and around Taipei.  After that, it was dedicated to searching for the rumored surf in Taiwan.  When I did finally find it, (it was actually pretty difficult) I found that most of the surf spots were situated in sleepy fishing villages and far away from urban civilization.
  I am not a fan of big cities.  They smell, they're crowded, and the people are always in a hurry... consequently, they're rude.  However, being pretty much a mute, deaf, illiterate foreigner, many things would be much easier in a big, foreign city.  There are many more businesses that can cater to at least a little bit of English.  If you stop an educated looking person on the street, 8 out of 10 times they can speak some English.  There are movie theaters which means that they play the latest Hollywood movies.   There's an expatriate population, which means there are prospects of making friends who have a similar background or at least being able to have a fluent English conversation.  The big kicker is in a big city, there's much more demand for a native English speaker to find employment, which means money, money, money.  But there's no surf.

Picture of me in Kaoshiung city

When I came to visit Jialeshuei, the small village that I now live in, I came face to face with a decision.  Do I make lots of money and live comfortably in a big city?  Or do I try to make ends meet here in this sleepy little fishing village with absolutely nothing else to do but surf?  I'm not going to lie, it was actually a pretty difficult decision.  I wanted to wake up and surf everyday, but I also wanted to save up money to be able to travel more in the future.  I also knew how enormously easier it would be for me to survive in the city.

Our village of Jialashui... view from the beach

    It's already been five months and from time to time, I am tempted to leave and move to the city.  There are overwhelming times of homesickness when I'm not able to call a girlfriend and go out for a drink or a cup of coffee.  When the weather's windy, cold and rainy the commute to work can be very trying on my scooter.

Scootered back from work on a rainy day... It can be miserable

If I forget to buy food for the next day, I will skip eating because I have to commute all the way to town to go to the grocery store or a real restaurant, which is usually just not worth it.  At least once a week I'll walk into a restaurant and try to order something and the person helping me will treat me like I'm two years old.  Yesterday, I ordered noodles to go and the guy actually laid out the materials on the table and proceeded to show me how to open the lid of the noodles, open the lid of the soup, pour the soup in the noodles, then put the spoon into the bowl and even charaded the motion of eating the noodles.  In most moods, it's comical (and I gratefully accept their willingness to be so helpful), but then there's times I just want to shout, "I may not be able to speak your language but I think I know how to eat!"
    I also live in the dorm room of a hostel with a steady stream of changing roommates.  I don't even remember what it's like to own a closet or have my own living space because my closet is my backpack.  There are a lot of things that I can go on about.  Maybe my current living circumstances aren't exactly ideal, especially when I know that there are far better, more comfortable options out there. 
But I'm sticking around for now because of the surf... oh the surf, this magnificent, beautiful wave!

Chris shredding

Another fun day

Aren't Fireworks Dangerous? (on the Yenshui Festival in Taiwan)

    Over a month ago, I was invited to go to Yenshui Fireworks Festival which was supposed to be "fun". During the late 19th century, fireworks were believed to be useful for warding off evil spirits and were also used as a cry for help from good spirits.  This was especially practiced  at the time because of serious cholera epidemics that were wreaking havoc in the villages of Yenshui.  Now, this practice is still held not because of cholera, but for folk belief and tradition.  It has also become such a grand event that it attracts tourists from all over Taiwan and is starting to gain worldwide attention (though I never even heard or imagined such an event until now).  In order to commemorate this event, hundreds to thousands of people gather in Yenshui for a two day festival in which the fireworks part is the main highlight.  It's also the only part I went to. I should also mention in case you didn't know, the Chinese are the great inventors of gunpowder and consequently fireworks.  Which to me, explains their fire obsessions.
   Before arriving in Yenshui, I was told that fireworks would be coming at me from all angles so I should properly prepare myself.  This meant, I should wear thicker clothing to wear underneath, some sort of outer protection that I wouldn't mind getting damaged, sturdy shoes, lots of duct tape, a full face helmet and towels.  So I wore jeans, a longsleeve shirt, a hoodie and long socks that went over my jeans to my knees.  Over all this I wore a complete rain outfit made of PVC material (jacket and matching pants) which I picked up at the hardware store.  I also picked up a full face motorcycle helmet and duct taped a bath towel completely around the bottom of the helmet.  This was to insure that no stray fireworks would travel inside my helmet and blow up (happens every year).  I also saw many others duct taping the bottom of their pant legs to their shoes so that fireworks wouldn't travel up their pants. But I also saw this which really confused me:

Apparently he doesn't care about his head or his feet, just his chest and arms.

  As a final touch, I donned gardening gloves and my hiking shoes and finally felt ready.

Beer in hand, I'm ready!

Look at me, I'm local!

   Don't get me wrong, of course it went through my mind several times that maybe whatever I was about to get myself into would be a bad idea.  I was told that people get burned quite often and even met someone who had an eardrum blown out from a firework going off in his helmet.  Despite all of these alarming stories, I had to see for myself what this was all about and figured, most people come away from it uninjured with a great story to tell.

   The way it all works is that the businesses of Yenshui township prepare all year long for this event by each elaborately decorating their own large structure that houses fireworks.  These structures serve no other purpose but to literally house enormous amounts of fireworks.   The fireworks don't face up either, they face horizontally, directly at you.   

   I'm not sure how many of these structures there are but there are a lot of them... maybe about one hundred? Of course, they don't set off these structures all at once.  Instead what happens, is that these men holding palanquins housing statues of different folk heroes or gods journey to each of these structures and serve as the signal for the lighting of each structure.  So as a spectator, the best thing you can do is keep an eye on these palanquins because they know where to go next.  This goes on from about 9pm til dawn. 

One of the palanquins, not sure what they're holding.

  Luckily, we easily found one structure about to go off as soon as we arrived.  It also happened to be a really huge one and for some reason it wasn't at all crowded.  Now there are several ways you can view the fireworks.  You can go right up front to the structure, inches away from the fireworks, you can back up further and further or you can view from the side where you have a lesser chance of getting belted with the fireworks but get the pleasure of seeing everyone else getting hammered on.  I of course got pretty close to the fireworks, nearly front and center, probably about a couple of feet away and braced myself for the unexpected.  What happened next was along the lines of not being able to see anything except for flashes of light and tons of smoke.  I found myself flopping around like I was engaging in some sort of wild dance because I was being pelted left, right, top, bottom.  Not only that but I didn't want any of the fireworks to get stuck to me because they were very hot so I was desperately brushing off fireworks from all over my body.  As far as hearing goes, I heard the loudest explosions I've ever heard in my life and lots of yelling and screaming, much of the screaming coming from myself.  

Chris's leg.  One of many holes that were made.

   The rest of the night was filled with lots more firework attacks and the last one that I witnessed was the most explosive.  When they wheeled out the structure, everyone was at first unimpressed because it was smaller than the rest of the ones that we had seen.

Look at all of those fireworks!

When I got closer, alarm bells went off in my head because though the structure was smaller, the fireworks were gathered together in larger groups than the ones that we had seen.  Sure enough, when it was lit, the large crowd that had gathered in front of it dispersed in a wave and all I could see were people running in different directions and blinding explosions everywhere.  A couple of the fireworks hit my pants and stuck so I tried to brush it off with my gloves which only made them burn through my gloves. I was flopping around getting my hands and legs burned and trying to find a place to hide but realizing that there was no place to hide because the fireworks were EVERYWHERE.
   After that last one, I was exhausted, my ears were ringing so much I could bearly hear anything else and I felt ashamed for ever being impressed by Fourth of July fireworks back at home.  I observed the scene around me and saw piles of empty fireworks that reminded me of snow banks back in Colorado. 

  Arriving home around 8 am I was delirious, shocked and exhausted.  My cool new rain outfit had holes all over it and had to be trashed, not to mention that I had a few burn marks and huge welts on my legs.  
  So what did I think? WOW. The Taiwanese are crazy.  Nice, but crazy.  I think the only way I would ever do that again is if someone came to visit me and it happened to be around that time.  Otherwise, don't think I'll do it again for the heck of it.


Thanks for reading!



If you come across my blog and have any questions about any of my posts or are interested in some of the places that I've visited or lived in, please feel free to email me.

Everyday Taiwan (a summary of my new daily life)

     It's already been about five months since I've arrived in Taiwan.  In some ways it feels like I've been here five months, but usually, time seems to fly by.  I won't go into detail about how I've arrived here in Jialeshuei, a very southern, rural area of Taiwan, right next to a surf break.  As another traveler I met put it, "It's where they bury the dogs." I'll just explain my current living situation.

Jialashuei, steps from where I live

      I live in a hostel/guesthouse where the third floor overlooks the ocean and where every morning I climb up the stairs to check the surf condition.  My neighbors are elderly Taiwanese folks who speak to me in Taiwanese even though they know I don't speak Chinese let alone Taiwanese.  Two doors down there is another family that has a small business in their living room where they sell convenience items like ice, ice cream, beverages and beer.  Their daughter is a bit mentally ill and loves to wake up every morning around 7am and yell at the top of her lungs, "YA-LALA-LALA... HEYYY YOO" while walking around the neighborhood.  This took a few weeks of getting used to but now I just think of her as the neighborhood's broken alarm clock.  She's very nice and though her vocabulary is very limited to about three words, she says "hi" to me every time she sees me.  By every time I mean if I walk by her house (which is at least 4 or 5 times daily) , I'll hear a sudden "Hi!" from the window.  If I realize after a few steps of walking past her house I forgot something and turn around, I'll hear another "Hi!" Though most of the time I can't see her through the window, I always wave, smile and say hello. 

The neighborhood where we live, these are the hostels in the front

      I forgot to mention how small our neighborhood is.  Our neighborhood is our village, they are one and the same.  This village has about fifteen homes altogether and about five of them are guesthouses or hostels.  Since I don't speak Taiwanese or Chinese (Taiwanese is the main spoken language in the rural areas of Taiwan, Mandarin is the main language in the larger cities) it is impossible for me to communicate with any of my neighbors.  Sometimes this really makes me sad because all of the neighbors are such nice people and I'm sure they would invite me over for their Sunday all day drinking binges or for a meal.  How I would love to sit at a table with my elderly neighbors, taking shots of kaoliang and hearing stories of their childhoods seventy or eighty years ago. Though I think kaoliang is the worst alcoholic beverage in the world because it tastes like cleaning product that you would only use on the harshest of stains...it would be worth the sacrifice.

    Each morning I awake between 7 and 9 am and check the surf.  Usually the surf is decent even though it gets extremely windy here.  I'll suit up, grab my board and walk down to the beach for a nice morning surf session.  The Taiwanese are extremely nice people but for some reason with only a few exceptions,  they are the most serious surfers I've ever met.  Only after a few months of surfing everyday out at the same break have some people started to warm up to me by giving me a nod in the water or on a good day, a smile or a wave.  I never really thought that Cali guys were every gentlemen in the water, but they seem to be compared to here.  At least in Cali it wouldn't be unusual for a guy to occasionally pass along a good wave to me if they were a better surfer, but in Taiwan? forget about it!
I'll talk more about the surfing in Taiwan in another post.

    After surfing, I eat breakfast, usually oatmeal or a breakfast sandwich if I remember to buy ingredients from town the day before.  The owner of the hostel/guesthouse allows me to sleep here in exchange for very cheap rent and some help.  I have to make up the rooms and keep the place clean.  Fortunately guests are rare because busy season isn't until the summer.  If there is cleaning to be done, I'll tidy up, if not then I'll get ready for work and ride to town.

    Town is about a twenty minute scooter ride from here and it's where I work, buy necessary items like bread or floss and do any grocery shopping.  I work about 15-18 hours a week which is considered full time in Taiwan.  When the weather's warm and the wind is low, I love my commute to town on my scooter.  It's so beautiful that sometimes I forget to breathe.  Since I live in the countryside the road is narrow and windy and most of the road is through farmlands and rivers.  Beautiful flocks of shocking white egrets are seen all the time eating from the richest green rice fields.  On a blue and sunny day I feel like the countryside is singing to me.

One of many views

    I am currently an English teacher at a cram school.  Cram schools are education based businesses that children as young as four go to after school.  I want to say after they come home from school but that would be a lie.  Most of these kids don't go home after school, they hop on a bus and go straight to their after-school school.  The rumor is true, Asians really are over-achievers.  Kids as young as six are at school or some sort of education affiliated program from 7am- 8pm.  People don't even go to work that much, yet they expect these little kids with an appetite for running around and making mud pies to sit still at a desk all day and night.  A lot of these kids go to these crams schools to do their homework, get more homework, and get ahead. (Which I find funny because if most of these kids are doing this to "get ahead" then getting ahead is the norm, which means everyone's ahead, then who are they really getting ahead of?)  These cram schools exist for extra work in English, math and Chinese, etc.  To make them more well-rounded these little kids also go to art class and take lessons for a musical instrument or five.  I've heard that high school students literally are at school from 7am til well past ten pm.  Then they are expected to do their homework and then "sleep" which is really only a nap, and then do it all over again the next day.  It's crazy! It really makes me appreciate my under-achieving US education filled with little memories of the school part and lots of memories of coming home after school and then disappearing with the neighborhood kids until sundown.

The over achieving future generation of Taiwan.  My students gathered together for a Christmas program.

    Fortunately though for me, the Taiwanese want to torture their children with English.  It's why I'm getting paid pretty well to basically talk to these kids, solely based on the fact that I am a native English speaker. Though I lack any teaching credentials and definitely didn't study or work as hard as these kids that I'm paid to teach.  In fact, most of these kids are probably smarter than me.  Another reason why I love being an American...

    So after work, I pick up dinner to go and bring it home and do it all again the next day.  The picking up dinner part is a whole other subject all together.  Which, my friends know how hard it is for me to find food in Taiwan.  It's worth writing about in another post. 



Thanks for reading!







If you come across my blog and have any questions about any of my posts or are interested in some of the places that I've visited or lived in, please feel free to email me.